The GOP Response To The Latest Allegations of Wrongdoing By [insert latest...
We furrowed our brows! We tsked! We harrumphed! We firmly expressed our dismay! We clutched at our pearls, and We fainted on couches, And mostly just called it a day. We met with constituents (Wait,...
View ArticleOh, Those Poor Snowflakes!
Mind your manners, boys and girls! The G.O.P. will clutch their pearls And (as one correspondent vouches) Swoon upon their fainting couches! Monocles will drop from eyes In shocked (but dignified)...
View ArticleA Very Good Thanksgiving
It was thanksgiving morning The turkey I’d chosen Had thawed for five days But was still a bit frozen From decades of cooking The turkey, I’ve learned That a turkey like this Turns out raw, or else...
View ArticleSending The Little Petri Dishes Back To School
The President, a gormless ghoul, Is sending children back to school Where anyone (except that fool) Can see what will result: See, kids have always spread disease They’ll bring a district to its knees...
View ArticleA Year Of Wonders?
Let’s all stay at home; let the virus inspire us! Write musicals, histories, science, and art! A new generation of “latest and greatest” (As soon as I get off this couch, I will start). The fruit of...
View ArticleThe Second Best Time To Plant A Tree
The experts have devised a plan To let us open schools To let us open shopping malls And restaurants and pools To let us open everything In every single state! It only lacks a time machine Cos now’s...
View ArticleThey’re Putting Guns On Robot Dogs
They’re putting guns on robot dogs And teaching them to dance They kick their heels and bounce around Like playful ponies prance They’ve got a sharp-eyed spotting scope To fix you in their glance...
View ArticleJust in case…
The very last user on Twitter Will proudly declare “I’m no quitter!” And the self-described hero (With followers zero) Will watch it all flush down the shitter. (Much easier than parodying Ozymandias)...
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An Update…
I am doing well (far better than I deserve, anyway), and am anticipating Very Big Things in the Very Near Future. As in, I will soon (at some point next month, odds are) be a Grand-Cuttle. Everything...
View ArticleI wish I could write a poem about her
But nothing rhymes with “perfect”. This is why I don’t use rhyming dictionaries. Look at rhymezone.com, and ask for a rhyme for perfect. It gives you a bunch of them, and not a single one actually...
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